Hollywood

Jon, Aviva and I did a show today for the Richmond Heritage Whatchamacallit. Basically a bunch of kids from across the city presenting their little history projects. They loved the show. After we were done, and just mulling about the front of the stage, this little girl comes up to me and says "Can I have your autograph?"

This girl was so moved by my jokes about Mexican Carnies, by the appearance of my alarmingly long arms from behind some tiny kid, by my skillful use of the words "fire hydrant" in One Word Story, that she wanted me to scribble my name on a bit of paper.

How could I say no? I could not. She also got Jon and Aviva's signatures. Jon put his phone number as well, which was mildly creepy. I think it was for her mom, though. It was confusing...

Jon is so dreamy

Last night I was having a restless sleep. I really couldn't konk out. I just lay there with my eyes open.

So I did the obvious thing: I closed my eyes and started counting Jon Lee-Sons.

One beautiful Jon after another gently floated over a fence of cotton candy, chocolate, and lace. Pandas applauded in the background and bunnies squealed in delight just being in such close proximity to Jon.

It was at this point that the sun looked down and smiled. The fluffy clouds in the clear blue sky swooned and the trees and blades of grass rustled with giddiness.

Then the rainbow appeared. Unicorns, fairies, and small elephants slid down the multicoloured arc of pure happiness and danced blissfully around the Jons who had gracefully traversed the Dilectible Fence.

There was much joy and laughter as the Jons played guitar and sang about dreams and ideas so fanciful they surpass imagination and escape description. Flowers and pebbles sang in perfect harmony with the Jons' song.

After some time, it dawned on everyone there that the population of Jons was reaching critical mass. The incredible awesomeness produced by all these Jons could not be contained and they began to glow a bright white that pulsated and filled that side of the Dilectible Fence with a warmth and love known only in the womb. In an effort to join in the gleaming paradise, unicorns, fairies, and small elephants stampeded over the gorgeous rainbow. Meanwhile, the frequency of Jons gliding over the Dilectible Fence rapidly increased.

Everything soon culminated in a massive "Jon-splosion"!

My eyes shot open and my back arched just a touch as my lungs gasped for air. The scents of candy, mint, roses, and unadulterated Jon-ness were replaced with the familiar scents of my room.

And the only words that could trickle from my lips were: "Oh Jon. He's so dreamy."