Winners of International Pun Contest

The ability to make and understand PUNS is the highest level of language development . Here are the top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest (courtesy of Lawrence Chew):

1 . A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons . The Stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2 . Two fish swim into a concrete wall . The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

3 . Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft . Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too .

4 . Two hydrogen atoms meet . One says, "I've lost my electron . " The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5 . Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication .

6 . A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories . After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse . But why?", they asked, as they moved off . "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7 . A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption . One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal . " The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan . . " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother . Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal . Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal . "

8 . A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds . Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair . He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not . He went back and begged the friars to close . They ignored him . So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close . Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop . Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars .

9 . Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet . He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath . This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

10 . And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh .

No pun in ten did .